Why won't it say anything?


It's not unusual to meet something in Focusing that for some reason does not "open up". We might offer questions and invitations to it and nothing comes back. Maybe we are spending time with a tension in our chest or some deep sense of unease and no matter what we do - nothing changes. Here are three reasons why that might be happening.

1. It's not ready yet. Sometimes, some part of us is not ready to "speak" yet. It needs time to perhaps find its way. It needs time to know it's safe and what it feels will be received with kindness. After all it may have spent a life time being ignored! No wonder it is taking its time. Here we might take time to be with it as it is. What is the hurry you might enquire?. Who is it that is in a hurry? Surely that is a part of us that also needs welcoming.

2. Something else in us has an agenda. Imaging we have something important and essential to say, but we are in the company of someone who is pestering us to hurry up or wants us to say one thing but not another, or is worried or judging of what we might say. Would we feel safe to open up? No! and for good reason. So if you are with some part of you that does not open up, then maybe you have another something to acknowledge and welcome.

3. It does not have words. Sometimes, we are with parts of us that do not have words, or use words. Many parts of us, especially younger parts will more readily use images to communicate. Or movement may come. Or it's too big to express in words. I've also noticed that very often, for me, that deeper wisdom speaks to me with symbols. It's like the soul's natural language. The aim here is to be with what comes, open to anything.

I am sure there are many other reasons that fit here too. The key is be curious, and acknowledge all that is present... and remember that big self has all the time in the world!

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