meeting the edge

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“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver

When I first learnt Focusing, I was so relieved that it felt safe for me; that I could choose what to say or not to say, that I could go at my own pace, and respect that sense of rightness. At the same time, there was in me I think, something that was very scared and loved staying "in control"... that was mostly out of awareness. This aspect of me (or part of me) more or less ran my life until I was fortunate enough to meet Mac Macartney at Embercombe in Devon. Read More...
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Teachings from my 6 year old son.

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My son Albie, now 6, is one of my most helpful teachers. Everyday he shows me how much I am really able to listen without judgment or agenda. Or to put it this way, if he detects any amount of judgment or agenda in my way of being with him, he reacts, sometimes strongly! Read More...
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the value of not knowing

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Since March this year I have been studying on a course co-hosted by Schumacher college in Devon about Nature connection and environmental education. I love being a student or an apprentice, yet and again and again I bump into my ignorance... or not knowing. I don't know one plant from the next, or which compass direction I am facing... and I notice along side this not knowing comes a connected feeling.. a murky sense of "its not ok to not know" or even "you are not ok" . I dig a little deeper and feel a thread that goes way back to school and before perhaps. If this thread had words it would be "you have to know, it's not ok to not know"
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on changing my name....

'You know, the only method that works is the braille method: we have to just feel our way along, from moment to moment, to what we need, to what’s appropriate for us... Trust yourself. You shouldn’t believe a word we say. You’re just abusing yourself if you give yourself away in that manner. If something that is said resonates with your heart, how do you think you know? I mean, if you appreciate – you hear someone speaking and you say ‘Wow, they’ve really got it!’ How do you know if they’ve got it? It’s because you are the truth. And when a truth is spoken, it resonates with that place inside of you that is truth. Trust that place. That is the Teacher. Don’t be ‘a Buddhist’, don’t be ‘a Hindu’, don’t be ‘a Christian’ – be a human being on their way to their immensity. Don’t ‘know.’ Only use what’s useful... The heart will find its balance. The heart will find its way.' Stephen Levine, 'An Exploration of Healing into Life and Death'

Well.... here we are. Nearly twenty years after being given the name Manjudeva within the now called Triratna Buddhist Order, I am now leaving that Order and returning to my birth name Peter. The above quote, which I love - expresses a lot of it. Read More...
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Big Kindness

I want to share something that has been happening for a few years in my Focusing practice... and it’s about what I am calling big kindness. It happens like this: I’m exploring some theme around a difficulty, for example - my habit of spending too much time on the internet and researching products... and in that exploration I meet various parts of myself with empathy and understanding... and then in that exploration, it’s like I sense a bigger picture Read More...
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