Welcoming Back the Collective Exiles of Death and Grief


I have always loved the invitation of "What wants attention?" to open a Focusing process. In my life as a Focusing teacher and in my personal practice as a Focuser, I used to think that this invitation was enough for whatever wanted attention to show up: that after I made that initial opening, the rest would happen by itself; that all I had to do was open the door and whatever wanted to be seen would wander though. Maybe it would take time to come, but eventually it would come and be heard and met. I had this image of opening a door and waiting... 

But what if that ‘something’ on the other side of the door has not only been kept out by protective forces in you but has been exiled by the larger collective. What if that ‘something’ has showed up at many doors over and over and been turned away, hundreds and thousands of times... and what if it had done this for generations. How would it feel to be that something? Imagine being such an exile. Would it be enough to see an open door for you to go in, would you trust it after all the rejections? I doubt it. Read More...

Our body knows what is missing


I'll begin with this remarkable quote from Francis Weller, Author of ”The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief”

"Whilst many of us suffered mightily because of unconscious parenting, we must remember that our parents were participants in a society that failed to offer them what they needed in order to become solid individuals and good parents. They needed a village around them and so did we Read More...

The life we refuse

"The life we refuse is singing to us
From the other side"

These lines from a poem by Daverick Leggat speaks so clearly to this place we occupy when we pause and pay attention to our direct bodily experience. Here we stand at a door with courage and curiosity, and perhaps a little trepidation. Here we invite in what has been singing to us from the other side. Here, our exiled guests are waiting to be welcomed back. Read More...

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